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Consider this quote from Abe Lincoln

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."



By popular demand I’ve returned again this week with my annual tips for visiting the Iowa State Fair. So clip this out and carry it with you and I will guarantee you will have a great day at the Fair!

  1. Remember the most important thing you can do is to wear good comfortable shoes. Flip Flops are not shoes.

  2. There are two best times to get to the fairgrounds. Early and even earlier than you think you need to be there. Granted there isn’t a ton of things going on in the early mornings, but having a spot to park up close by the grandstand fence will make a big difference at the end of the day.

  3. Tube tops are not meant to be worn by anyone over the age of 9.

  4. People who don’t understand that the Fair is about Agriculture generally do not get past the midway or the Bud Tent. We call them “townies” and stay far away from them.

  5. For a great practical joke, or to seek revenge on that ex that did you wrong, visit the Varied Industries building and sign them up for everything. Be sure to make sure to note on the Royal Prestige sign-up sheet to call and keep calling.

  6. It’s called poop. Don’t step in it.

  7. Baby strollers inside of buildings are a pain, but we will understand your need to show your three-month old the butter cow if you do not ram said baby stroller into the back of our ankles.

  8. Do not bring your dog to the fair.

  9. Corn dogs, corn dogs, corn dogs. Make sure it is the original Poncho Dog.

  10. Start at the top of the hill and work your way down. You will be less cranky by noon.

  11. It is perfectly fine to find a water fountain to refill you empty lemon shake up cup.

  12. I am not waiting in line for an hour to try any sauce served on a pretzel stick.

  13. Loose livestock can be dangerous. Do not attempt to show anyone your great livestock skills. Just act like you didn’t see the animal running wild like everyone else.

  14. Find a place to sit down now and then. It doesn’t have to be in the middle of the street.

  15. If you see someone lying face down under a tree, don’t disturb them. They are either taking an after dinner nap, or are trying to recover from the night before.

  16. Crazy Mouse = lose your lunch.

  17. Yes the line at the Pork Tent can be long, but please don’t make it longer. It’s the pork tent folks…it’s like McDonald’s, the menu hardly ever changes!

  18. Great places to meet people you have lost include the Pepsi Clock, The giant stone globe and the Red Cross station.

  19. Be sure to carry a map with you. As someone who has read these tips, you will obviously be seen as a master Fair goer and will be asked by some dote where something is.

  20. There is no such thing as light bulb grease, and when walking through livestock barns remember to look down, and UP!

  21. If you are allergic to bees, stay away from any root beer stand.

  22. A great way to greet everyone you meet is by screaming loudly, “Where’s Floppy?”

  23. Always throw your trash away and don’t litter.

  24. If you stop in the middle of the sidewalk, or isle, or street, you will get run over.

  25. Finally, remember to have fun at the fair, enjoy it with someone you can stand being around all day, and don’t forget to bring home a salted nut roll and some mini-doughnuts for me!

See you next week…remember, we’re all in this together!