Dexter Iowa Community Site

Consider this quote from Abe Lincoln

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."

If you are like me, there's been an urge you've started having lately...The unexplainable urge that comes on about this time every year. It's something out there over the horizon that you can almost taste, touch, feel, smell.....Oh yes..that's it...it's a corn dog! And with State Fair just a few days away, it is time for Weez's annual guide to surviving the fair.

1. One can never have enough corn dogs. I would suggest starting out the morning with one and continuing on throughout the day consuming one per hour.

2. Your day at the fair should start early. If you are sneaky and can carry a sack of feed or a bale of hay, you just might be able to find your way into the fairgrounds at 5 a.m. ready to start the day off right.

3. It is important to remember never at any time to wear a tube top. This goes double for you older gentlemen and those of us portly fellows who probably should start shopping for a man bra.

4. I hate to finally bring this to light, but Bill Riley isn't a real person. He and Dick Clark are actually Disney anomatronic charictures.

5. You should never attempt to take a box of crackers into the butter cow display. Trust me on this one folks.

6. It is fun to sign up your friends for things at the Very Interesting Building. But remember making a rubber stamp with thier name and address is going a little over the top, although it will enable you to cause twice as much mischief.

7. The Midway is called that because it is halfway between having enough money to eat lunch and being broke enough to have to go home.

8. For you city folks..Bulls, Stallions, Boars, Rams all have them, and please for the love of all that is sacred quit teasing the Super Boar and pointing to his unmentionables. I'm sure he's probably got some issues with them himself.

9. The weather will be hot. It's State Fair time folks. It's Iowa. It's August. Been the same for 150 years and not about to change now.

10. As you are clutching your sweetheart in the Ye Old Mill, try not to think back to the last time you were in the ride at age 15, with your grandma.

11. He's just a clown. Don't waste your childrens college fund trying to dunk him!

12. Finally. Be curtious to everyone you meet. They are all as hot and tired and stuffed full of pork chops, funnel cakes, mini doughnuts and corn dogs topped off with eight lemon shake ups as you are.

Have fun at the Fair. See you next week...Remember, we're all in this together.