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Consider this quote from Abe Lincoln

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."

 

 

††† As my second favorite time of year is now upon us, as promised here are Weezís secret tips to enhancing your experience at the State Fair, suitable for cutting out and carrying around with you so you wonít miss a minute of the fun. .

1. Your day at the fair should start early. If you are sneaky and can carry a sack of feed or a bale of hay, you just might be able to find your way into the fairgrounds at 5 a.m. ready to start the day off right.

2. Corn dogs are not considered a meal, but can be used as a snack item or even a dessert after consuming a pork chop on a stick.

3. You should never attempt to take a box of crackers into the butter cow display. Trust me on this one folks.

4. It is fun to sign up your friends for things at the Very Interesting Building. But remember making a rubber stamp with their name and address is going a little over the top, although it will enable you to cause twice as much mischief.

5. The Midway is called that because it is halfway between having enough money to eat lunch and being broke enough to have to go home. Further more, heís just a guy dressed as a clown.You donít really need to spend all your money trying to dunk him.

6. If you are wearing flip flops, donít ride the sky glider.

7. The weather will be hot. It's State Fair time folks. It's Iowa. It's August. It has been the same for 150 years and not about to change now.

8. As you are clutching your sweetheart in the Ye Old Mill, try not to think back to the last time you were in the ride at age 15, with your grandma.

9. Sometimes the most interesting things happen where you least expect them too.A great place to spend some down time to rest your feet can be found during the contests at Pioneer hall or even sneaking into the Livestock Pavilion to watch a cattle show.Unless you are scared of cows in which case you should stick close to the DNR exhibit hall.

10. Start your morning up the east hill and work your way down towards the west through the day.Your legs will thank me for this small but important tip.

11.If you do nothing else catch a ride on the double Ferris wheel at dark, just in time to be up close and personal with the fireworks.

12. You will have the urge at some point to lie down and take a nap.You can do this just about anywhere, but I wouldnít recommend it in Pella Plaza. Usually you can find a nice comfy spot in an empty pen in the hog barn.

13. Make sure everyone in your group knows the meeting place.The Pepsi clock and the Stockmanís are both good choices.Near the clean out stalls behind the cattle barns are not.They are also not a good place to take a nap (see above).

14.Bees like Root Beer, Livestock does its business where it wants to (remember to look down and up when walking), and there will undoubtedly be someone who should not wear a tube top wearing one.Try not to be grossed out by any of them.

15. Finally. Be courteous to everyone you meet. They are all as hot and tired and stuffed full of pork chops, funnel cakes, mini doughnuts and corn dogs; topped off with eight lemon shake ups as you are.

Have fun at the Fair. See you next week...Remember, we're all in this together.


 

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